You Might Be A CReW Dog If ...

• "wRap" music, to you, has a string section but no instruments ...
• You don't have matching sneakers ...
• The stripes on your sneakers are line-burns, not logos ...
• You can log 2 hop-and-pops in one jump ...
• You wear, and use, multiple hook knives ...
• Your rig has parachute hanging out all over, even when it's closed ...
• You catch your friend's free bag ...
• You land with a spare cutaway pillow ...
• You land with more than 1 main ...
• Your rigger gives you volume discounts ...
• You can unravel and afghan ...
• You find nylon all over your face, and it's not your girlfriend's panties ...
• You take your cellular phone with you on a skydive, and need to use it ...
• You compare line-burn scars with your friends ...
• You get your Gold Wings and your first hour of freefall at the same time ...
• You only jump morning and evening ...
• You look down instead of up when someone screams "incoming" ...
• You don't own a jumpsuit ...
• You're wearing the loudest pants on the DZ (and the ONLY pants if it's summer) ...
• You take more freefall after a cutaway than you do on exit ...
• You are used to landing with less than two sneakers ...
• You always reply "3 seconds" before the person asking "What's the delay from.." has even got the altitude out ...
• When people ask "Why are you wearing x hook knives?" you reply "because I can't find anywhere on this rig to fit another one" ...
• You've been told by your rigger, "No I will not modify your reserve with red 'A' lines"
• You have a pocket for a cellular phone on your rig
• Even when you jump at your home DZ, your phone is set for 'roam'
• When manifest reminds you of the 800 number for the DZ as you board
• You have a cab driver stick around after you get to the DZ, and you drive there yourself

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Last modified : Tuesday, May 28, 1996 - 10:37:50 AM